In 2002 I was in my second year at university. I was decidedly discontent, studying for a degree I had no real passion for, directionless and devoting far too much time to the excesses of a student lifestyle. I could not help but feel that I was somehow missing something vital from my blurry existence. However what that something was, for the time being became buried in my chaotic lifestyle.
Ironically mixed up in this hedonistic lifestyle I was simultaneously a fitness fanatic, obsessed with everyone's appearance, particularly my own. Dieting was my training companion. When training was too easy I weighted a rucksack down and sprinted with it mounted upon my tiny frame, launching myself up seemingly impossible hills and running mile after mile. I could see injuries building up and my body begging for mercy but I ignored its desperate pleas blinded by my own decadence and vanity. I desperately clung to the philosophy, ‘you only live once' as a proverbial comfort blanket.
I left university in 2003 miraculously with a degree but still utterly directionless and deliberately oblivious to the deep internal damage I was fostering. Undertaking a temp job just fuelled my indecision about where my life was really going. The weekend was my new best friend. Lacklustre, I plodded through my work and wondered why no one else around me seemed to be discontent with their lot.
After causing so much damage to my body I could no longer exercise and pain beset my body and spirit. Doctors and other therapists alike were baffled by my condition and administered diagnosis after diagnosis with no correlation between any of them. Sometimes just turning the door handle of the office filing room would bring me to tears because of the excruciating pain in my wrists, muscles and joints. I knew it was time to try something different. A work colleague mentioned that she had studied Reiki and suggested that it could offer me some solace for my situation. Reiki sounded fascinating and I felt increasingly drawn to it.
A couple of Reiki treatments later and my bad back had much improved and I felt a little more serene. The treatments were quite unusual. I lay on a massage table whilst the Reiki practitioner channelled energy into various parts of my body, suspending her hands above me. This caused a range of sensations from bright colours floating in the line of my vision to my back cracking to involuntary spasms in my legs. All in all the Reiki treatments were wonderful. I was keen to find out more about this astonishing Reiki therapy.
My research led me to a Reiki teacher who was a member of a recognised Reiki association. The Reiki course was magnificent and the Reiki teacher's house seemed to possess a breathtaking and uplifting energy that convinced me that this Reiki course was about to dramatically alter my life forever although I was not sure how.
The Reiki teacher seemed to understand me completely and my soul was laid bare to him without me uttering a single word. I felt he could see my life past, present and future, and I knew I had found something beyond my wildest dreams. There seemed to be something so much more than what I had experienced in my life and for the first time I felt a sense of immovable hope.
Through a series of what are known as ‘attunements' the Reiki teacher raises your vibrational frequency enabling you to channel energy to heal yourself and others. The attunement also develops your spiritual side and enables you to attain enlightenment provided you devote enough time to regularly healing yourself.
The weight of the world I had bore upon my shoulders and all the self- obsession, guilt and lack of direction dissipated. I spent hours a day self-healing. It wasn't easy, I had to confront myself completely and some days I would spend hours in tears, but I knew that what lay beyond this was worth the temporary pain. This left me realising I had the potential to help those around me with this gift as well as healing all the events from my past that had so dramatically halted my self-development. My awareness grew rapidly. I felt enlivened and positively peaceful. Finally I felt more myself.
This incredible experience set me on the road to recovery. I stopped doing all the things that were damaging my mind, body and soul. Drink, alcohol and constant partying became a thing of the past and achieving optimum health and conscious living became my new regime. Reiki had taught me the real value of taking responsibility for myself and boosted my self-esteem and self-respect.
Reiki helped me to choose a fulfilling path, to truly live rather than just existing and to find true inner peace, something everyone secretly craves for whether they realise it or not. The road to serenity is not always easy, understanding the truth about yourself and others is hard, but it is the most worthwhile journey anyone can ever take. I am more confident, focused, healthy and able to have a more positive healthy attitude to life. Helping others to develop in the same way is truly rewarding.
It became apparent that being a Reiki teacher was my beckoning in life and I thoroughly enjoy helping other people overcome their illnesses and emotional traumas. With Reiki people can be freed from the constraints of other people's expectations and past events enabling them too to find true contentment.
I practise and teach Reiki with my partner (who incidentally is the guy who taught me Reiki!) and I can honestly say that I couldn't have wished for a better life. We aren't rich and don't lead a lavish lifestyle because we prefer not to. We have ups and downs as anyone would but the most consequential thing is that our happiness is derived from so much more than satisfying our physical needs, it comes from satisfying our souls, the real source of inner peace and tranquillity.
© Copyright Dawn Mellowship 2005.
If you have enjoyed this story, take a look at Andy's story My Reiki Journey.